Who are you being?
I have often heard my Miracles Coach, Lee ask me “so who were you being?” And another phrase, “let’s look at why it was showing up for you that way.” I would think, “What does that mean? I am being me of course.” I believe I am now clear as to the meaning of those two statements. I missed one of the most precious opportunities that has ever been presented to me so that I could learn that lesson. I got it, no really, I GOT IT!
I was in Austin, TX at the Omni for a “Day with Joe.” I am one of the grateful, soon to be certified Miracles Coaches, from Joe Vitale’s Miracles Coaching program. The day we spent with Joe was nothing less than Miraculous. The day was completed with a wonderful dinner where I got to sit next to Joe AND I got an exclusive video of Joe answering my impromptu questions. (The link to the videos will follow in my next blog). I was captivated, enjoying every moment, I could not imagine how it could get any better, but it did…
I watched The Secret, read The Attractor Factor, bought many books by Joe Vitale, downloaded countless audios and signed up to become a Miracles Coach. I believe in what Joe has to say, and I am inspired and grateful to be part of his journey to “awaken the world.” When we were asked what it would take for our day to be complete, my only request was to have a photo op with Joe. I wanted to get a photo of him with my Smart Car that I attracted using the things I learned from his books, videos, audios and finally with the help of my miracles coach. Joe agreed, we could do that – great!
While we were eating dinner, Joe asked me about my car and I told him. I was so excited and I guess he could tell since he told me I was beaming. He asked me where my car was and I told him it was in the parking garage. He said that it was probably pretty dark there and the photos might not be too good, so he asked what my plans were for the next few days. I told him that I was pretty open and asked why. He told me that I would probably get a better picture if I came to Wimberley in the day time. WOW, this is how it could get better!! I had just been invited to come to Joe Vitale’s home and taken my photos. I was ecstatic to say the least. He gave me his email address so I could send him my information and he mentioned that Monday would be better. I told him that was fine that I wanted to see the Wimberley Glass Studio anyway. He said, they are not open on Monday, so I should see it on Sunday.
All of my fellow coaches were excited for me and wanted to hear the details. I told them I would let them know. This was a dream come true, another attraction story that came to pass, one of those, “better than I could hope or imagine moments.” Here is what happened next, I call it the “greatest gift.”
I went out that night for ice cream with my husband David and did not think to email Joe until I got back to my room (at about midnight). I sent him an email with my email address and then thought about it later and sent him another one with my cell phone number.
When I got up on Sunday morning, I checked my email to see if Joe had emailed me and what the plans were. No email, so we had breakfast and packed and I constantly checked my phone and email for a message – no message. I thought… and that is where it started, a thought, a doubt, then some fear. We drove to Wimberley and I checked my phone (I get email on my phone too) and kept thinking, I am sure he will call, then, well I hope he calls. I did enjoy the Wimberley Glass Blowers Studio and even saw a few pieces being made.
It was getting later in the day and I thought that it was as Joe had said, “Monday would be better.” So we got a room in Wimberley and enjoyed the peace and quiet of this wonderful place. The person at the front desk of the Wimberley Inn knew Joe and in fact went to the same church. She said that the whole congregation was using Ho’oponopono and it was wonderful!
Monday morning came and still no call or email. My doubts grew and I became fearful that I would not be able to connect with Joe. It was just one more thing I did not complete. I started to feel that I was not worthy enough to see Joe, that he was too important and I am sure he was really too busy to see me.
I started thinking about what I had learned that weekend about myself. I thought I had limiting beliefs about money that came from my childhood, religious beliefs that were limiting. After talking to one of the other soon to be certified miracles coaches I found out that my real limiting beliefs were coming from my first marriage. I thought I was over that! I found out that I was not. I talked to my coach and mentor, Lee and she told me that I would have to write down all the things that came up about my marriage and clear on them. She described it as throwing up on paper, I could actually see that.
I needed to find a place that I could do that without interruption, so I told David that I was going to get some breakfast for us and would see him in a little while. I went to the local Café and got a seat by the window away from the crowd. I started my list, it was long, it was ugly, and I was amazed at the things I wrote on that list. I did not even realize that I had all that stuff in me. I felt the anger, the shame, the fear, the regret, the sadness, the emptiness… I felt it all! And I thought I was done with all that years ago, ha – I was not even close to being done or clear.
I wrote like there were demons chasing me and it seems maybe there were. I could not put the pen down; I could see someone who looked like me just surviving. Then I was done. I talked to some people about my car, paid my check and left. Step one was complete. I had written down what I thought was the truth about what had happened to me.
Now I know that we all create our own reality that we are responsible for everything that shows up in our life. I do not have a problem seeing that. I can also tell you that if we do not bring the darkness to the light and clean on it – it remains as a limiting belief; one that continually shows up in a different form and often.
I went back to the Inn and checked my email, no message from Joe. At this point I did not really expect to hear from him. I had already decided that I was not good enough. David told me that we really needed to head for home, back to my business where my customers were waiting for me. He asked me why I didn’t just call Joe; I told him that I did not have Joe’s number. He asked if I tried the phone book – phone book?? I never thought of that and so I did and there was a number to his local office. I called and spoke with Joe’s very kind assistant, Suzanne. Suzanne tried to help me connect with Joe, but he was booked all day and thought that I was coming over Sunday, not Monday.
I had missed that precious opportunity to meet with Joe. I was disappointed to say the least. Then I started hearing what Lee was asking me for the first time, “who was I being that had it show up this way for me?” What a wonderful question. And in that moment of deepest disappointment, I saw who I was being… that 20 year old woman that lived in fear, anger, shame and finally that 30 something woman who was just surviving. I had finally met my limiting beliefs face to face and the moment of truth was there for me to clearly see. I had been given a wonderful gift, an opportunity to free myself from the beliefs that had captured my very existence for more than 25 years. I was FREE to clear those beliefs and start creating a new and miraculous life for myself!
I was ready; I put in the first CD of The Missing Secret by Joe Vitale and starting cleaning and clearing my beliefs. I was not concerned that I would bother David, I was on a mission – I wanted to be clear. At one point David reached over and turned up the CD player and said he could not hear. I knew that he was listening too. He asked me why I was being so quiet and I told him I was cleaning, clearing and erasing my memories. I was no longer afraid of what he might think and so I explained what had happened to me in Wimberley. I explained the list I had written and the need to clear and erase my limiting beliefs. I was no longer afraid, ashamed, doubtful or feeling like I was not worthy to be clear. David actually understood and started to help me.
On Wednesday I had the opportunity to join a Zero Limits Coaching call, which further helped me to cleanse. I could feel the shift in my life as layer after layer fell away. What baggage, what lies, unforgiving spirit and destructive feelings I had held on to.
The more I cleansed, the more miracles started showing up:
My step-mother asked me if I was having Botox treatments, then quickly said, “no you would not put that kind of poison in your body. (I eat organic, and use homeopathic remedies.) I know - you are peaceful.” She could actually see it in my face. I told her I was working on it.
My son-in-law said that something had happened, that I looked 10 years younger. (Want a facelift? Get clear!)
I daughter called to say that we got another check in the mail. She asked me if I realized that we had received a check in the mail every day – I told her I was aware. On Friday after I returned I opened the mailbox and there was not a check – I said to myself, I guess that means someone will call me to come pick up a check. Within 10 minutes a customer called for me to come pick up a check.
We really wanted to stay at a Hampton Inn on the way back and found that most were full early in the evening. We stopped in Ohio at a Hampton Inn about 11:30 pm and got the last room.
My Mom lives in Louisiana and I wanted to see her on the way through, but David said that we did not have the time. So I just cleared on whatever was in me and then I asked him if my Mom just happened to be in the same town as we were passing through would he mind having dinner with her. He said that would be fine (he did not think she would be any where close, after all she lives 1 ½ hours away from Monroe). I called Mom and asked her where she was and she said Monroe! We met her for dinner.
My daughter called to say that she needed to find a ticket for her daughter’s Cheerleading coach so she could fly to Florida overnight to locate her missing uniforms for their first competition. She was in a panic. I asked her what the coach would do if she was on a plane and the uniforms arrived back home in Erie. I told her I would clean on it. The coach decided to wait – the uniforms showed up the next day.
One of my employees asked if we had any work to do and I asked if he had check with this customer and that customer, he said he would. Before he had a chance to call any of them they started calling me for service calls.
I decided that I wanted to talk to someone and they would call me within 10 minutes.
I got back to the office from my trip and immediately started cleaning everything in my office. My desk, the floor, paperwork, the kitchen, tables, my car and I broke a record for how fast I put everything away and put away the bags from my trip. I kept cleaning and clearing – everything! I kept repeating I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you and I love you - over and over. I have been told all my life that I am a messy person; I decided that limiting belief could go away as well.
I didn’t want to be late for my call with my coach, so I had her be late calling me. I was still at one of my customers picking up a check J when I was supposed to be at the office. I got back to the office before my coach called me – she apologized for being late and I just laughed and told her that I was the cause of her being late and that it was perfectly fine.
Miracles are showing up fast now, inspired thoughts are coming to me and I can’t wait to see what shows up next. Even this note is amazing – it is 5:21 am and I have been going since I woke up yesterday. I just had to write this before I went to sleep. I am done for now.
Thank you Joe for the wonderful gift you gave me that I could not show up for. Your CD’s on The Missing Secret are very powerful and you were right when you told me that they would help me to become clear quickly.
Thank you Lee for teaching me to look at Who am I being. Thank you for being a wonderful coach.
Thank you David for listening to the CD’s with me on that long trip back from south Texas to Erie, PA.
And thank you to my fellow miracles coaches; I look forward to Awakening the World with you!
